Saying Yes Means Saying No

by Mary Anne Lutz

It is something that we all intuitively know, but we often refuse to accept. We want it all, but we can’t have it all. If we choose to live in a certain house, we say no to all the others. If we marry a certain person, we say no to everyone else. Maybe that is why making a decision is hard for many people. It is what made it hard to take the step of beginning to homeschool. It would have been easy if the kids were not happy in school, if they were not learning, if they had no friends. For us, none of those things were true.

We had been in a good Christian school, and after that, a good public school. In fact, while it was not all I would have wanted, in many ways I loved it. Even spiritually, there were many good things. We were able to start release time religious education. We picked up the enrolled students and they had an hour Bible class during school hours. I was invited to give the full Christian Easter and Christmas story to the class. And we have friends that we still love from those days. So it was hard to realize that if I said yes to investing more in my children’s lives, I would have to say no to these things. Saying yes to homeschooling meant saying no to all of those things, good and bad, that come with school. My involvement with those people and events would be altered or ended.

It is not just about how we educate. It is a choice that determines our social circle in many ways. We live on a different schedule, and we will associate with those who live similarly. For me, this came at a time when all my friends were cheering their new freedom. Let’s do lunch! Come over and sew! Let’s go to the gym…..These are things that I was saying no to. It was an adjustment , but one that I embraced wholeheartedly. It was an exciting time, and in saying yes to this new way of life, God was, and still is, faithful to direct and provide. He is like that! We don’t need to fear. But we do need encouragement!

In your choice to homeschool, you have said no to many other things. Maybe you even grieve some of that loss. We have all been there. If not in homeschooling, in some other life choice. Every person needs to learn that yes means no. But, we also need to understand that teaching our children is a wonderful, blessed thing to do with our lives. God brings new people, new opportunities to learn and serve. Embrace what you are doing passionately! Don’t look with envy at others who have chosen a different path. They have their own trials, just as we do. Nothing is perfect, but it is good!